The innocent bystander saw the convoy, a speeding column of humvees and armored 4x4s, swerve at the corner and head north through the square. Burly men in sunglasses could be seen through the open windows of the vehicles. An assortment of weapons, all shiny and glinting in the sun, held up by their muscly arms, stuck out of the windows as they scanned the roadsides. The traffic up ahead was thick, and looked even more unbearable in the hot and musty weather. A tire screeched. A car door shot violently. Someone yelled an obscenity. The air, even in this expansive public square, was electric with tension and sweat.
A bullet was fired. Or maybe a street vendor dropped a copper receptacle on the cobbled pavement. And then all hill broke loose. Body count would later indicate seventeen innocent bystanders were killed.
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Later, the man behind it all was being interviewed, in a funny arrangement they call a ‘hearing’. Elected men in suits told him the aforesaid incident is under investigation by the bureau. Meanwhile, has he got anything to say to vindicate himself? And he talked. He was asked, then, by a suited man who seemed to be on his payroll, how many diplomatic protectees were harmed under his watch? And he answered proudly: None. Zero.
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He was again interviewed, this time on Charlie Rose. He oozed with innocence and professional courtesy. He spoke about the non-violent side of his enterprise; teaching warriors how to drive (did you know driving accidents were the second most common COD amongst warriors? How depressing), survival in the wilderness courses, rock climbing courses…etc…
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Press reports had surfaced about the spiraling rate of piracy around the horn region. The horn, being relatively close to the combat zones, featured a potential business expansion for the men the innocent bystander had seen before. And sure enough, more press report later emerged about protection of carriers and maritime routes being provided by the men with the sunglasses and the state-of-the-art weaponry. The man behind it all was getting frustrated with hearings, lawsuits, and legal harassment back home. He wanted a new home.
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A home close to potential operating theaters. Where he’d be close to his business ventures. Away from the press. Away from horny attorneys. A place to worship. And liberal malls for the girls.
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Residents hoped that, given the infamy and the dedication of their new neighbor next door, driving standards around town might at last begin to improve.....
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