Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Fast Food

Fast food is man’s way of returning to basics; it is a repackaged ritual of ancient atavistic engagements; of hunting men and lusty women. There isn’t any attempt at presentability. The pieces of chicken stand alert on recycled paper plates. The pieces of chicken are expected to be manhandled and smacked around and them torn into with venomous urgency. There’s a primitive, built-in genetic inclination to devour in haste, before the smell of the fresh prey reached the wild predators or the adversaries in the nearby caves. A tumultuous tearing into flesh and fibers, into residual blood and soft cartilages. The modern man had refined this urgency and revised it into a forensic dissection. An endeavor that women with long fingernails and embarrassed- but overpowering- hunger could undertake without having to condescend into an animalistic growl. Mustached men can perform a tender fellatio on a piece of chicken without being figured for queers.

And then there's the Darwinism of frugality, of family sized and 'economic' meals. 'More value for money'. A cadaverous pile of chickens that had perished en masse. Prepared en masse. To be eaten en masse. A congregational act of gluttony masked by the need for austerity. The urgency to consume here is propelled by an edge of advantageous commerce. A need to exploit the bargain and call the bluff of the meal designer. On more subtle level, family size meals provide an unbreakable bond, a joint venture, a collaborative work of hands plunging into buckets and jaws chewing in unison. An economic meal is an ingenious approach to easing familial maladies. The epileptic speed by which these meals are consumed is a collective assertion of the right to self determination. The catatonic co-motion around the dining table is a pronouncement of a renewed primal rallying behind a common goal. The hideous group smearing of hands and face a revived formula of fuzzy logic and concentrated randomness.

Given the above, it's only natural that a meal of fast food be concluded by an act of therapeutic sex. Booths equipped for coital privacy must be provided around buzzing food courts. Enclaves of darkness where carnal wants can be enacted under the spell of cholesterol rush, passing the slanted genes to next generation. Rewarding the hunting man with a sense of accomplishment, shaming those who opt to nap instead. (There is no room to compromise when the supremacy of mankind is at stake). Lusty women must be accoladed for their continued service of the system, for their maintenance of the food chain and their indispensable role in calorie expenditure.

Fast food is a significant turn in our anthropology. An attempt to turn to basics, signified by streamlined slaughtering of weaker beings and automized bludgeoning of the environment.

1 comment:

KJ said...

DJ, your brain amuses me.