Shisha Ban? or Humdrum Ramblings?

I was casually listening to one of the English radio stations yesterday as I drove to grab an argileh (shisha) at the B café. There was a female presenter talking about health and stuff, and somehow the subject of smoking was brought up. Her guest was a guy who was talking about a Ministry of Health initiative (but I doubt he works for them), he said that there’s a massive campaign for smoke cessation in the gulf that included posters with photos that will elicit awareness in the prefrontal cortex of a smoker. He also said that invitations  were sent out to graphic designers with a brief to come up with the most horrific and graphic scenes that will be printed on cigarette packs all across the gulf. The presenter then asked him about shisha, and I’d have plugged my ears if I weren’t clutching the wheels with both hands. He went on how horrible shisha is for health and how a head/stone (rass or hagar, depends where you come from) is equivalent to 20-40 cigarettes. He said that the ministry is adamant on banning hooka altogether in the future, especially that its smokers aren’t aware of the perils that await them. The presenter agreed with him that the situation is frightening. You can tell where the rest of the conversation was going……

Yes, the situation is frightening; it’s also frightening with all those fast-food joints that are meant to sustain the calorie intake of your fat ass. It’s also frightening to go to the beach in the searing sun and get a sunstroke. It’s also frightening when the UAE is experiencing an endemic in diabetes and other similar illnesses induced by high cholesterol and sedentary life style. You want frightening? Go and watch the patrons of bars and clubs getting out at 3 AM Saturday morning with their wobbling heads and bleary eyes. Think of the platoons of drunk drivers descending upon the city at the aforesaid hour. Alcoholism, frightening not? Have you been to any restaurant in Mina Bazar area? Have you seen how the food is being prepared? And while you’re in Bur Dubai, would you please make a list of all possible ways of contracting STDs?

It’s hypocritical to ask for the shisha to be banned when you’re not a smoker. Unlike cigarette smoke, this is a practice restricted to certain areas approved and inspected by the municipality. Even the air we breath inside the joints isn’t shared with the general population. It’s impossible to be a second hand shisha smoker unless you make the conscious decision of getting in that air-tight space. So what do you want to ban shisha for? You’re worried about young adults getting addicted, maybe you could demand a letter with a guardian consent, or you could raise the minimum age to 25? How about you put up posters of charred lungs and rotten airways in all the shisha joints? That should be enough deterrence, should it not? I may as will help with the graphic design, heck, after seeing photos from Abu Ghuraib and Gaza, nothing really moves a human being any more. Or if we wanna be realistic, let’s ban fast food and cola and alcohol and jugging on dusty days. Because in the socialist country we live in, my public-provided health insurance is paid by your tax money. And that entitles you to interfere.  Because, you know, grown-up people aren’t ever capable of making conscious and responsible decisions. I’m awaiting your graphic designs to make up my mind.

Heck, I should probably quit smoking, I could just inhale the dust instead.

Dust storm , Shisha smoke , Clean air on Shiekh Zayed road , 05/7/09.