Scenario no. 1: A few days old baby is found in a wooden box at a street corner, dehydrated and barely alive. The baby is accidentally found by a Good Samaritan who calls the police. The baby is then taken to hospital, put in an incubator. Name: Unknown Unknown. DOB: Unknown. Medical records: a question mark. Now, when she makes it out of the hospital, she’ll either be taken by a foster family (preferably a nice and loving one), or she’ll be put through the system of institutional care; orphanages, foster homes, etc… oh, and somebody please pick a name for her.
Scenario no. 2: She’s pregnant. A by-product of a forbidden love or an illicit relationship. She can’t have the baby. It will be a constant episode of public disgrace. She aborts early. Case closed.
Scenario no. 3: she’s pregnant. A by-product of a forbidden love or an illicit relationship. She can’t have the baby, for the same above-said reasons. But she can’t muster the determination to abort. When the male-dominated family circle finds out from the bulge in her abdomen, a little arrangement is made and the problem is taken care of for good. The state won’t object much; the state is usually sympathetic.
Scenario no. 4: she’s pregnant. A by-product of the same above-said relationship. She can’t have the baby for the same above-mentioned reasons. But abortion for her is ruled out. The males-dominant family circle finds out soon but they’re sympathetic and understanding. A healthy baby is born and registered. The mother goes to jail for committing adultery. The biological father may not be ‘man’ enough to face the music and show up. So the family brings the baby up on there own, but public disgrace is the inseparable companion of the family and the baby girl and the mother for years to come.
Which one of the above-mentioned fucked-up scenarios is easier to live through for all parties involved?
13 comments:
but public disgrace is the inseparable companion of the family and the baby girl and the mother for years to comeneither the baby, nor the mother, nor the family owe the 'public' anything. and if they cannot standby each other in such times, they have no right to be together, to be a family.
when the man-who-isnt-man-enough doesnt stand by you, no matter what happens, your blood does not abandon you - that's why it's thicker than water.
as time goes by, 'people' will find other things to talk about. stick with scenario 4.
Scenario no.2
People make mistakes, why should she mess up her young life, and the life of another. God willing someday when the time is right and the circumstances, she will have children again.
They say its a man's world they are right.
Try bringing up a child and that too a fatherless female child on your own.
Scenario No. 2
By the way, it's also called free choice. But only in the free world.
And you should add to that also "a by-product of a drunk one night stand" - this is more appropriate to Dubai expats.
Unfortunately it's almost a catch 22 situation; if a woman gets pregnant and isn't married in the UAE then it is going to be a pain in the ass.
Abortion is illegal. You'd have to fly out of the country to get it properly done. Or try buying medication on the black market. Given that the baby was found in an industrial area, it's probably the mother is poor, and as such couldn't afford the medication, the abortion, or to even have the baby. Don't forget you actually have to be above a certain salary to have a baby in the UAE.
They do actually sell 'the pill' in the UAE, and it costs next to nothing, but this is a preventative measure. They do not however sell 'the morning after pill', so if the pill fails you are pretty much screwed.
To sum up:
Abortion is illegal
Adultery is illegal
Sex out of marriage is illegal
DJ, why are we assuming these are the only scenarios possible? How many women are killed for much lesser "offenses" ... and their children killed with them, or left to die? I disagree with the "blood is thicker than water" saying, because these feelings seem to disappear when damn "honor" issues surface.
A lot needs to change in this region where the right to life is taken in the broadest possible sense. This baby had a very low birthweight already, which means the circumstances of the pregnancy were not ideal, and the baby was probably born early. God help her and help her mother who felt she had to abandon her, and who will be mentally tortured all her life ... if she lives, that is.
Generally, my belief is that people take action and they should take responsibility for them too. But in this particular case my unease stems from the fact that men and women are not sharing the responsibility equally. It’s presumed the woman’s problem. And she should take care of it. There’s a tacit permission for her to get rid of the damn thing. Even if we don’t state that publicly. And while I’m personally pro-choice: “choice” in this case means that the pregnant woman should have the option of bringing her baby up without being on the receiving end of the society’s grief or violence. I don’t know if, legally speaking, the biological father could be held responsible too. Or if he could be a part of the choice making process.
Another reasons for my unease is the disproportionate interest the society takes with sex and its consequences. We’re obsessed with sexuality; ours and that of others too. We’re consumed by the concept of purity and chastity to the point of madness. While at the same time our thoughts and private actions are very rarely compliant with that moral façade. Yes, ladies and gentleman, while you might think that I’m saying what I’m saying to help myself get laid (or get laid more), it’s not actually that, it’s the implicit, collective hypocrisy of the society that irks me.
Nick, I know it's called free choice. And I know that particular position is called 'pro chocie'in the free world. I also know that in the free world there is another camp too: the 'pro life' fanatics who, in the free world, blow up abortion clinics and end up killing babies and mothers alike. In the free world.
Sam-urai, I knew I could still teach you young guys a thing or two:
a double dosage of the preventive pill within 24 hours works exactly like a 'morning after' pill.
Jazze, I know what I prefer: I rather have Pro-lifers blowing up clinics instead of not having clinics at all.
Nick,
I'm not an expert on contraceptives, like you, but I once read that the best one is a glass of water: not before nor after, but instead.
Can you confirm this?
Scenario #2. Hands down.
I'll sell you plan B pills for 1000 a box. its 2 pills per box.
Scenario 5. Dont be a whore.
Jazza,
In your case the best prevention is to stay chaste...
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