Sunday, March 08, 2009

No egg was forthcoming.

Two penguins native to Antarctica met one spring day in 1998 in a tank at the Central Park Zoo in midtown Manhattan. They perched atop stones and took turns diving in and out of the clear water below. They entwined necks, called to each other and mated. They then built a nest together to prepare for an egg. But no egg was forthcoming: Roy and Silo were both male.


Roy and Silo are gay bastards. They are having a same-sex affair without our consent. We should probably seek to either destroy them or straighten up their behaviour. I am not sure how do we do that though? as homo-sapiens we are capable of inflicting our desires on our fellow humans. But it's ironic, isn't it? I mean the leaders of Moral Legions would always cite animals as the ultimate proof of the deviatory essence of homosexuality, they'd say "if it's natural, then why animals don't do it?". I am not sure how would they react to findings of such study as above, they'd probably write it off as a Zionist/Crusaders conspiracy, or they'd call it a test from the higher powers to see whose faith would wither at the sight of fornicating birds, and whose faith will hold. Or maybe they'd brand it as optical illusion.

But remember, no egg was forthcoming.

For the sake of completing the rainbow of colors my fellow bloggers Abu Fares, and Yazan were talking about (although it honestly sounds to me as if there are only two colors, no middle ground), I should probably carve my own opinion into the rocks of apathy and antipathy to have a color of my own. After all there are Zillions of colors out there in nature. So it's only apt that I have my own niche, my own color.

I don't particularly hate homosexuals. There is this 'unease', for the lack of better expression. I think the subject of homosexuality is uncomfortable for all straight Arab men no matter how liberal we are. Heck, it's probably uncomfortable to gays themselves; I'm yet to meet a homo who is entirely comfortable exposing his sexual orientation in any Arab country. I imagine the kind of pressures exerted on them. It's no wonder they end up with behavioural disorders. So I guess it's the critical and extremely difficult status of these fellows that engender their abnormal behaviours. Why is it that in the evil West they've embraced the diversity and acknowledged the existence of this deviant group, look at Boy George for example, he'd engraved his name in the hall of fame of UK 80s music. I like Boy George by the way....errr.. I mean I like his music.

But alas, no egg was forthcoming.

We should probably note something else too, that fashion industry is rampant with gays, both men and women. I've always wondered why, heck, even the salesmen at Debenhams look kind of gay. Might it be their weird haircuts and flashy uniforms? it might. God, what the world has come to, you can't tell straight from gay anymore. On the other hand, I'd understand why most fashion designers are gay. It's probably easier for women to get groped, rubbed and fingered by gays; all being requisites of a fashion designer's job. For a desperate straight man the prospect might be appealing, all you have to do is learn some fashion design techniques, talk like a queer and apply for a job at a decent store and keep your fingers crossed, probably your legs too. Only thing is that you have to be careful for your real sexual identity not to be uncovered, especially since they make sure that you wear tight pants everyday for work, one single boner would blow you up (...) and you'd end up Jizzing in Your Pants.

20 comments:

abufares said...

This is hilarious DJ. I loved this post a little more than everything you've ever written before and you know that I am a fan of yours.
Long live the Penguins, straight and gay :-)

Judi said...

Hey there! This post is particularly surprising! Good idea though, a short story about homosexuality and tackling the no forthcoming egg issue!This is a very gentle way to talk about the matter. I loved it too.

KJ said...

Again, while I may not have a certain liking to some acts or people or cultures or ideologies, I am to accept them because, in my opinion, the only reason they exist is because they are a fragment of a greater truth.

Like you said, to deny something is to deny a face/direction/view of the greater truth.

Like is really like the camera - the lens you use is what you get to see from the picture

Yazan said...

Bless you DJ! And bless those lovely well-dressed penguins, I've always had an affinity for them.

saint said...

Lack of knowledge and interaction makes some think that being different is a choice, the other think that being a different is kind of mental sickness which put them together became: I choice to be sick.
I think both nature and environment mold us some how, us humans and animals. Who thought that lizard the master of disguise would dress transvestite to protect itself from Macho male. http://www.nowpublic.com/environment/transvestite-lizards-masters-disguise

BTW, what is Jiz, where did you live before man, I needed the urban dic to find it: )

moryarti said...

I don't know why, reading your post, i kept getting mental images of those highly skilled penguins from Madagascar movie :)

the real nick said...

I wouldn't know. I don't shop at Debenhams.

Media Junkie said...

homosexuality is actually pretty common in the animal kingdom:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexuality_in_animals

Media Junkie said...

haha - the video was hilarious.

Rime said...

Fantastic DJ! I knew about these penguins, and you made it more hilarious than ever.

I don't know about your understanding of fashion design though. :)

DUBAI JAZZ said...

@ Abu Fares,
Hala wallah. And thank you very much. I find it much more easier to tackle sensitive issues with humor. Also, humor is the ultimate (dis)proof, if you want to overhaul a theory or a situation, test it against humor (and I dare add mockery:)), you'd never go wrong!

DUBAI JAZZ said...

Hello Judi, I once knew a Judie, she was a seagull from a beachside town, she.... oh wait, damn. I got carried away, sorry.

You're welcome. Glad you like the gentleness of the post. :)

DUBAI JAZZ said...

Exactly ya KJ. Who are we to judge others? I mean, just imagine if I am to launcha campagin to eradicate veggies from the blogsphere, how ridiculous would I sound? least of which because I wouldn't know why people chose or have to be vegetiarians unless I am in her/his shoes.

DUBAI JAZZ said...

Hala wallah Yazan, I like penguins too. There was this cartoon when I was little, which name escapes me at the moment, there were lots of penguins. And I think through that I learned that they are actually birds as a species, and not mammals.

DUBAI JAZZ said...

Saint, LOL at the transvestite lizard. I think human trannies could learn a thing or two from them, especially if they have to disguise themselves against the tight-ass, self-rightous, morally corrupt and sexually frusterated fundies.

DUBAI JAZZ said...

@ Mory, I've seen the movie. If I recall correctly though, the penguins were the crooks who supervised the repair of the plane and stemmed the labor riots?!

hmmm, sounds like our projects' manager. :)

DUBAI JAZZ said...

Real Nick, I don't shop at Debenhams. I just have to walk by it in my way to the smoking den at my launch break.

DUBAI JAZZ said...

Hello MJ, glad you liked the video.

DUBAI JAZZ said...

Hello Rime... ahem... I kind of came across like I hold certain grudge against fashion designer. I actually don't. But they DO get away with lots of things don't they? :)

Lujayn said...

Well, well, well.... we're at the no-egg-forthcoming argument! Glad to see the progression in thought, DJ! :))

Loved the video, hilarious!