- Did you know the owner is so fucking ugly he keeps himself away from the public eye? It was stipulated as such in the franchise agreement, I think. He’s so ugly it was thought he’d hurt the chain’s image if he shows up in public.
- You know fifty years ago, when he was a kid, he used to pull fish skin out of his stinking hands during school time and get reprimanded for doing so by his teachers? He’d then tell them he’s so poor he has no choice but to carve fish to help his family.
- You know his teenage daughter died of cancer last year and all the money in the world couldn’t help her?
- You know his convoy has never been less than 5 cars, two Lamborghinis included?
- You know how much that 16 years old prince from the neighboring country pays annually for his furnished apartment?
- You ask how does he drive a Ferrari when he’s still 16 and doesn’t have a license? Don’t you know there’s a provision within the law for extraordinary drivers? Yes he happens to be one.
- You know how much we charge a ho for a room entry? No pun intended.
- Haven’t you heard of that scuffle between the bodyguards of two rivaling dignitaries from that same neighboring country? Man, you haven’t seen fights until you’ve seen that. Gross Lee my ass. We had to mobilize all the muscles we’ve got and enforce a demilitarized zone between the two tables.
- You do under-estimate what a concierge does or knows, don't you?
- You know how much our Executive Chef gets paid?
- You have no idea what an Executive Chef is, do you?
- No you idiot, he hasn’t worn an apron in years. He does all his work on computers; surfs the net for new recipes; orders the seafood and chickens; samples food of competing hotels…etc…ah, you know how much commission does he get from the chicken supplier?
- Illegal? ... yeah … It’s illegal to be paid commission by a supplier, but who’s going to know anyway? How did I know myself? You really under-estimate what a concierge does or knows, don’t you?
- You know this Executive Chef is so handsome ($$$) he sleeps with a different girl everyday?
- This bit made you jealous, didn’t it? you know how many of my female co-workers climbed the career ladder riding his dick?
- Do you even know how I got my last promotion?
9 comments:
So it isn't only business assholes and PR who talk like that, it's the concierge too!
Remind me to give them a tip if they shut up!
Do you know how much money they make from tips? DO YOU?
Do you know you have the funniest collection of friends and acquaintances?? Where do you find these people (assuming this is a real conversation with a real person)??
But more importantly, where did you get the photo of the woman? Seems very much a home shot, not something you find in a magazine, even "those" kinds of magazines.
KJ, 7aram 3aleek! Why would you call my acquaintance an asshole? He’s not a bad person in reality, he just happened to be working in a place where headache-inducing stories are rampant.
I know they get lots of tips, but tips are usually thrown in to a single pool a distributed uniformly amongst the service staff by the end of the month .. (depends on the hotel regulations though)
Lujayn, I seriously don’t know… maybe it’s my friendly appearance (weshi al bashosh) that makes people comfortable sharing their private stories with me; only thing is that those people are only men.
The …female photo is available on the net, if you follow the same search parameters as I did (which you can draw from the post!) you will find her very easily!
It’s cool photo isn’t it?
And here I was, thinking it was a photo you had taken personally! Yala, khaira b'ghaira. Hope weshak al bashosh starts to attract a different crowd soon!
i THINK i know which chain you are talking about .. :)
Mory,
Really? how? send me a message on FB with the name (please).
It's so refreshing that, among my friends, I'm not the only victim when it comes to putting up with assholes.
The concierge might come useful some day if you want to make out with a whore, in a Lamborghini, in front of an Arab dignitary and his 16 year old kid watching, with the the fucking ugly chain owner behind the wheel, while being served chicken wings by the executive chef.
Did I forget anyone? Fuck the rest.
That was a descriptive yet funny account of the torture you go through... kind of reminds me of my hairdresser.. lol. I have contemplated taking my Ipod with me when I go, but it may cost me a good haircut.. lol
btw.. Great Blog!
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